The inner battle that keeps getting in the way

When I receive phone calls or emails or messages each week from individuals and couples looking for a therapist, I get to connect with them on their unmet needs, unvoiced desires and deepest pain points. Some may be seeking recovery from a devastating event in their lives. Others may not feel quite as broken, but desire to finally get past the roadblocks that are keeping them, or their relationships, from achieving their full potential.

What almost everyone has in common is the reality of an inner fight within themselves, a silent battle between what currently is and what can be. When we are brave enough to admit to ourselves that life is not sitting with us the way that we would want it, we tap into the possibility of change that will allow us to grow in the exact ways that will most benefit us at this current point in our lives.

Seeing your life through a new lens

One of the most powerful means of change is the ability to maintain clear awareness of yourself and others. It’s what must always come before finally setting the boundaries you know you need to set, demanding the respect that you know you deserve and humbling yourself to make the changes that you know have been long overdue.

Having the clarity to separate your emotions, perspectives, experiences and beliefs from the emotions, perspectives, experiences and beliefs of others creates the freedom to release codependency, attempts to control others or the trap of changing who you are with every person you meet in order to obtain a semblance of self-acceptance.

So how much more freedom is available to you if you learn to bring a similar acceptance and separation to the inner parts of you that sometimes seem to sabotage your own highest good?

Meeting yourself again, for the first time

Despite all the inner work that has been done by many of the potential clients to my practice, they often seek qualified, professional help because they find themselves getting stuck in certain areas of their lives. This is intensely frustrating when your intellect, your street smarts, your creativity and your problem solving skills have gotten you to a place of such outward success, but the energy you feel inside isn’t matching up to your outward appearance.

None of this, of course, means that you are less than or a failure waiting to happen. It is actually the very expected result of living life in a society that has pulled you in so many directions- all at the same time, no less!- and has required you to continually split off parts of yourself in order to stay afloat.

If your natural sensitivity meant that you risked rejection from the in-group growing up, well, then you rightly learned to mask that in order to protect yourself from being excluded. And if the leadership skills you were born with tended to make others feel resentful of you, or say that you were “too much,” it’s no surprise that you found a way to present a quieter, more people-pleasing front in order to get by.

In fact, so many of the aspects of ourselves that we feel frustrated with are actually deeply embedded defense mechanisms that worked at one time to protect us from pain we did not want. Over time, these ways of coping have stopped bringing about desired results and started to produce very painful problems. AND, it is possible to be compassionate with yourself about that even as you work towards change.

Really getting to know YOU!

One of the most powerful ways that I have seen to start unraveling these old, malfunctioning defense mechanisms, is through the process of mapping out your inner parts. Taking a deep and loving look at all the different sides of yourself, to not only better understand why you do what you do, but also to make self-supporting changes that will actually work so much better for you, in the current life you are living.

By getting to know yourself in a fuller way, you can demystify the pain and unhappiness you have been feeling, while growing to new heights of self-love. Instead of punishing yourself for having normal fears and weaknesses, you can accept these things and greatly reduce the resistance to positive change. Less being a war with yourself and More coming into powerful partnership with yourself.

Self mastery without force or domination

By reducing the sense of threat inside your body and spirit, you can gain the clarity to see what is right in front of you and truly act in your own best interest. You will be able to slow down, pay attention, correctly interpret what is happening and make much more mindful decisions.

Not only will you experience greater flow internally, you will also be able to easily give yourself radical validation for the realities of the wider world and the corrupt systems that have also impacted you, without drowning under the weight of that awareness. Greater connection within yourself, means easier access to the power that you do have available, and the possibility of many more options at your fingertips that might not be as obvious yet.

What is waiting for you on the other side of the life you’ve been living?

What is available to you is so much greater than you may even imagine right now. Let’s work together to bring out the strengths and resources you already have for living as the fullest person you were meant to be.

I offer integrative intensive sessions where I guide you in your experience of mapping out your internal parts, so you can better understand what prevents you and what protects you, moving you towards authentic integration.

Limited spots are available for working with me, so don’t hesitate to reach out to me today.

Interested in Working with an Internal Family Systems Therapist in Alexandria or Crystal City VA?

Is the inability to rest or slow down leading to burnout in your professional and personal life? Reclaim your joy and vitality while managing your professional commitments through holistic and evidence based counseling. Our specialized support at Satya Counseling & Yoga is designed to fit seamlessly into your busy life, empowering you to conquer trauma-based responses and thrive. Prioritize your mental well-being – embark on a transformative journey towards a happier and more fulfilling life by following these three steps to get started:

Schedule a complimentary 15-minute call to see if we’ll be the right fit

Begin meeting with me, therapist and trauma-informed yoga teacher, Linda Sanderville, to rediscover your healthy, authentic self.

Start moving forward in your personal and professional life in a positive and healthy way!

Other Services Offered at Satya Counseling and Yoga

At Satya Counseling and Yoga, I want to help create a safe space for my clients to start their healing journey individually or as a couple. To help accommodate you in my Northern Virginia practice (along with other locations nationwide), the services I offer in addition to internal family systems therapy include trauma recovery, anxiety relief, and therapy for depression. I also offer a Transformation Therapy Intensive for those looking to seek accelerated progress toward their identified goals and personal growth and Yoga for Therapy to help increase your mental resilience and enhance your emotional state. For more about my practice check out my FAQs and blog!