Imposter Syndrome: How Can Online Trauma Therapy Help?
If you've experienced trauma in the past, then you've likely also felt the sting of imposter syndrome in your present. You know the feeling- that suspicion that you are the odd one out, the one who doesn’t look like they belong in this space with everyone else. Even when you try to remind yourself of all the logical reasons why you shouldn’t feel this way, the doubts keep rising back up, and these negative thoughts are getting in the way of all those goals that you have set for yourself.
Why Does Past Trauma Continue To Hurt You?
Why is that? Why do you have to carry the weight of distressing memories from your past, and then be burdened with ongoing negative effects many years later? It’s not like you had the power to choose those terrible events in the first place! If nothing about this seems fair to you, you would be right.
Early Life Trauma Creates Challenges
Trauma in early life creates a huge challenge to the emerging sense of identity of your younger self. In many ways, your vulnerability at that age made you even more susceptible to having your trust in yourself eroded because you were so powerless. Whether the people who disconnected you from your power were conscious of what they were doing or not, the hurt that they caused was a result of their destructive choices, not your personal failings.
Where you could have been developing a healthy foundation of self-compassion, you were shaped, instead, to be self-critical and judgmental of every move you make. These effects on your core belief system can last for years, even decades. Imagine a whole life lived in the shadow of destructive lies that keep you small. Frustrated. Lonely. Playing it safe and living with regret. Of course, a lot of us don’t have to imagine it- we live it.
Sabotaging Success
For some of us, the effects of trauma show up as a deeply held belief that we could never be successful.
You might even be surprised that you are still alive as an adult to make anything happen because your early life had you thinking you wouldn’t make it this far, for one reason or another.
Still Plagued by Self-Doubt
So when your outer world doesn't match your inner one (e.g. you completed that advanced degree, landed that competitive position, moved to the city of your dreams, etc.- all while still doubting yourself), your mind immediately starts working away at all the different reasons why this won't end well. Why don't you belong here? Why it's only a matter of time before you get found out and thrown out.
Not Confident in Your Worthiness
When you are not confident, you deserve something; having it can really send you on a mind trip. How defeating is it to achieve so much, so far beyond your own expectations, and then not be able to enjoy the rewards of all the hard work it took to get here?
So whether you find yourself messing up a good thing in order to come back down to a level that makes more sense to you or staying at that level, but suffering because it conflicts with your core belief that you are not a person who gets to have success, either way, your success has been sabotaged.
The Loss Of Control
For others of us, the effects of trauma might stem more from a sense of things being outside of our control. This makes so much sense because, at one time, you may really have had very little control at all! As a child or teenager, with adults running the show, you likely had minimal options available to you in any given situation. And ultimately, we are wired to do what we think is required to survive, above anything else.
The Belief That We Were Powerless
This is true even if we can look back now and spot the times when we falsely believed we were powerless. Just because we might be able to recognize those opportunities now, doesn’t mean that we had the ability to recognize them then, in our young, impressionable minds.
Victims of Imposter Syndrome are Driven by Fear
As a result, in the present time, you may have a tendency to grind away at your work or try to gain all the best things for your family through your blood, sweat, and tears. But a big chunk of what's driving you is fear of losing any control that you may have over the current situation.
You fear that if you take any time away from the projects on your plate, failure will inevitably follow. And you believe this even when you are delegating these same tasks to qualified people, who you then proceed to micromanage because no one does it quite as well as you.
Choose to Rest and Release the Fear
The truth is- you may be right! But how exhausting! With these beliefs dictating how you spend your time, it seems you are never entitled to a break since that would lead to the feared loss of control. Ironically, a break is exactly what you need and what your body will unpleasantly force you to do before long. So much easier on the mind and the body if you can choose the necessary act of rest now, once these false beliefs have been uprooted and replaced.
Never Feeling Worthy
Finally, some of us may simply struggle to feel that we are worthy enough for good things. You fear never being good/attractive/financially secure/sophisticated enough, and you wonder if others are thinking this way about you, too. You desperately hope that no one will be able to tell just how worthless you feel at times, so you keep that shield around your heart raised up high.
This defense against vulnerability is understandable yet counterproductive, preventing love from filtering all the way in where it is most needed.
The Lie of Worthlessness Feeds Your Imposter Syndrome
And when you subscribe to the lie of worthlessness, this defense against love is no mistake- it is by design. It keeps you disconnected from others and therefore affirms the false belief that you are unlovable, due to not being enough.
Challenging our Assumptions is Hard
Strangely, we sometimes find it easier to believe something deeply painful, rather than to challenge our assumptions about ourselves and the world.
You Are Not Alone In The Effects Of Trauma
If any of these versions of imposter syndrome hit close to home for you, I hope you know that you are not alone. Many of the people you know and look up to have been in each of these places; you are not unique in this!
It is possible to shift mindsets and beliefs so that you are not stuck repeating the same mental patterns and robbing your life of joy. What relief it will be to stand in pride at how far you've come, no longer suffering the tyranny of self-doubt and catastrophizing.
In place of imagining all the worst outcomes, you can lean into the experience of pleasure and receiving good things, and others in your life will be even more drawn into this version of your truth.
Practicing Confidence
For a simple practice to cultivate more confidence and self-compassion, try keeping a “Wins jar” where you record all the big and small moments where you have won.
Celebrate and acknowledge a major milestone, in a way that is meaningful to you.
Realize that things turn out better than you expect when you take time away from your responsibilities for your self-care.
Experience delighting in your unique Self and the ways you impact the world around you with your own special touch.
Receive a genuine compliment or praise from others that acknowledge you for who you are or what you do.
The Benefits of Positive Reminders
Checking in with these positive reminders regularly can help to keep you in alignment with the voice of your true, wise Self. It will also help you successfully challenge the voice of your inner critic so that you are not interpreting recent events as more negative than they actually are.
If you put in the time to try out the Wins Jar, I would really love to hear about it! Shoot me an email at Satya Counseling and let me know how this practice has been for you. I am here for it! And if you would like to work together to progress further in your trauma recovery journey, reach out through the Work with Me page so we can chat. The version of you that exhibits post-traumatic growth is so worth your investment.
Next Steps For Beating Imposter Syndrome in Trauma Therapy in North Virginia
If you are interested, I offer therapy intensives, which allow for 3 hours or 90 minutes of holistic therapy services at a time. This guides you in addressing your negative thoughts and replacing old, harmful beliefs about yourself with beliefs that actually empower you and help you to face work situations and relationship interactions with more confidence, peace, and authenticity. You can learn about these unique services here.
I wish you the absolute best in your emotional recovery, and I urge you to give yourself permission to operate in the world with more confidence and peace of mind than what these imposter thoughts are telling you.
Getting Started in a Trauma Therapy Intensive in Virginia:
First, you’ll schedule your consultation call, and I'll evaluate if a personal transformation intensive is suitable for you and how I can support you. In the event that we decide it's not a good fit, I'll be glad to provide you with appropriate referrals.
Second, we will arrange the date(s) for your intensive, and I will send you an invitation to my secure client portal.
Thirdly, you will receive an electronic intake packet and a deposit invoice, which you must complete within 48 hours to confirm your appointment.
Afterward, it's important to get your therapy space ready. This usually means choosing a location at your home or workplace where you can minimize interruptions, have access to stable WiFi and a backup network signal in case of any connectivity issues. Additionally, using a reliable set of headphones can provide better sound quality and increased privacy during your intensive therapy sessions.
Lastly, we will conduct your intake assessment appointment and provide you with a transformation-intensive workbook (if requested), which will assist you in getting ready for our focused time together.
Other Services like our Therapy Intensive in Virginia we Provide:
Satya Counseling and Yoga offer mental health support and personal growth services, including counseling, trauma-informed yoga therapy, trauma therapy intensive, and self-care workshops for emotional healing.
Linda Sanderville, LCSW is a psychotherapist with over ten years experience in effective trauma treatment and training and supervision of other mental health professionals. Currently, she provides speciality services to adults seeking recovery from stressful life events and those who desire to optimize their wellness and the health of their relationships.