Which kind of therapy is best for me? Part 2: Interviewing your next therapist
Well, due to Covid running through our extended family for the first time, it took me longer than I expected to get back with you in part two of this series. But finally, here we are! (And all are well:)
So in part one of this series we took an extensive look at many of the factors that contribute to satisfaction with a therapist, regardless of what specific type of therapy they offer. We saw that taking time to identify your own goals, current challenges, past therapy experiences and preferred interpersonal style can go a long way in ensuring that your next therapist can be a desirable support for you for many years to come, if that is what you are looking for.
In this article, part two, we will consider exactly how to interview your potential next therapist and learn whether their type of therapy offering is a good match for what you need right now.
So let’s start right in on some options for interview questions. I’ll bullet point the questions themselves for quick reference, explain the rationale for asking them and give an example of an answer you might get. I’ll also highlight red flags in certain answers you may receive that could indicate that it is best to continue your search for a new therapist.
Question option 1: What brought you into this work? What do you enjoy about being a therapist?
Question option 2: What kind of interventions do you use with clients like me, and why?
Question option 3: How long does this therapy typically take and how will I know it’s working?
Question option 4: Who is a good fit for working with you as a client?
Question option 6: There are some things I’m not ready to talk about yet- will that be a problem?
Question option 7: Do you take my insurance?
Question option 8: Do you offer sliding scale/reduced fee?
Perfect- now on to the nitty gritty details! Feel free to select a highlighted question above if you don’t feel like skimming all of them.
Question option 1: What brought you into this work? What do you enjoy about being a therapist?
Questions like these are great because they start the process of creating a relationship with your potential therapist, and the relationship is the part of the work that will do the most heavy lifting over time, as we discussed in part one of this series. It’ll also show you more about this person’s personality, how open they are and whether they go off the rails talking about themselves on a call that is meant to be about you!
You will already begin to pick up on signs that this is a great fit therapist for you if the type of person you are or the problems you are facing are the same people/problems that this therapist has a heart for. This makes it more likely that they have done the deep dive to ensure that they have all the best tools to get you the relief you are looking for, and that they are invested in continually getting better in their treatment of clients like you.
Example response:
I actually had my own grief experiences that led me to search for clinically effective options to reduce the pain for myself and others, and I want to now share this with as many people as possible.
OR
I’ve always been interested in people and knew I wanted to be a therapist early on. I love spending my days helping people and seeing the light return to their eyes as they rediscover how powerful they truly are.
Red flag:
As stated above, if you ask this question and suddenly half your consultation call is the therapist talking about themselves, this isn’t a good look (it’s poor boundaries). Unless you want to pay for sessions to hear all about your therapist’s life, now is the time to run- not walk- onto the next consultation call with someone else.
Question option 2: What kind of interventions do you use with clients like me, and why?
You are ready to invest your time and finances into your mental wellness. So asking what interventions will be used with you and why is central to understanding how this therapist is thinking about your problem, and whether this seems to resonate with you as truth. If you are struggling with your ability to think clearly and positively as you navigate decisions that will affect your future, a therapist who recommends CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) to focus on reframing your style of thinking or Hypnotherapy to redirect your thinking patterns on a subconscious level, is demonstrating to you that they hear and understand the concerns you are raising.
Example response:
Based on what you shared with me on this call about the assault you experienced but have not been able to fully process, I would approach this by working with you to build coping skills for your immediate distress, and then move forward quickly into eye movement work to help you quickly experience relief with your troubling memories.
Red Flag:
If you ask this question and you get a lot of stumbling around, or answers that don’t make sense because they either sound overly complicated or not relevant to what you shared about yourself, this would be a red flag. Any counselor you work with needs to have clarity about why they are doing what they are doing, and to instill you with a sense of confidence about this as well. If you ask for clarification at this point, and you get it, problem solved! If the intervention still remains unclear, then your treatment is likely to be undirected and could potentially cost you time, money and peace of mind.
Question option 3: How long does this therapy typically take and how will I know it’s working?
It is reasonable for you to want to set your expectations for treatment so that you know what you are committing to in working with your counselor. If you thought effective therapy would only require a couple of months but the therapist you are interviewing estimates closer to 6-12 months of work, knowing this on the front end and adjusting your expectations accordingly will help your experience to go a lot smoother.
There can be significant differences with how long certain therapies take on average, and this is partly a matter of effectiveness and partly a matter of intended result. For something like psychoanalysis, clients are usually seeking on ongoing exploration of multiple layers of unconscious and repeated patterns over the lifespan. So it is not unusual for someone to work with their psychoanalyst for a period of 5-6 years, sometimes meeting up to 5 times a week. With something else, like Accelerated Resolution Therapy, which is one of my specialities, clients are typically getting relief from the concern that brought them into therapy in less than 4 sessions. The goal and the process are very different, and the way that success is defined will differ also.
Example response:
My clients typically stay with me for 2-5 years, starting with weekly sessions and then working down to monthly maintenance sessions overtime. I use assessments for anxiety, depression and ptsd symptoms on a quarterly basis to help us keep track of our progress together. You should begin noticing initial relief of symptoms within 4-6 weeks.
OR
It really ranges depending on the client, though my work is generally solution focused and short term. I have some clients I see short term for about 2-4 months, and then they have the option to schedule follow up sessions every 6 months, depending on their preference. Others I work with intensively, meeting 2-3x a week for up to 6 weeks, and by that point they no longer meet criteria for PTSD.
Red flag:
There are generally no guarantees in therapy, so if you are given one, that would be a little suspicious. Any experienced counselor should be able to give you some sense of what to expect as far as time frame and frequency after hearing a little bit about your goals.
A therapist who is unable to reflect your goals back to you is also a red flag because it may indicate that they are too overloaded to listen well to you, and that is a core need of this kind of service.
Question option 4: Who is a good fit for working with you as a client?
Finally starting therapy is such an exciting time! There is something magical about working with a therapist who is exactly what you need at the time that you are seeing them. Getting a therapist’s perspective on who they work best with will give you great insight into who the get the best results for, and if you fit in that category, than you are much more likely to experience success in your treatment goals.
Having clarity about not being a good fit for that counselor is also a gift. Knowing that on the front end, based on the counselor’s clear description, will save you wasted time and energy opening up to someone who is not going to be that effective for your needs.
Example response:
I generally work with couples who are experiencing transition with adding onto their family and are trying to navigate the stresses that those changes can create.
OR
I counsel a lot of professional women who desire to uphold healthier boundaries and communicate more assertively in their personal and professional lives. Many of these women also recognize a need to address long standing patterns that began in their early childhood, so we incorporate that work as well.
Red flag:
While this doesn’t bother everyone, I generally advise that you go with a counselor who is more specific about who they specialize in working with. If a therapist says they work with everyone, there’s nothing to prove that they do any one thing particularly well. Unless you find you have a very strong natural connection with this therapist, the odds are much higher that you will not be satisfied when working with a “generalist.”
Question option 5: Do you offer options for working more frequently with a client who has a time sensitive goal?
Not all therapists will be able to offer this within their practice model, and it may not be relevant for your situation. But if you do have a time-sensitive goal you are looking to meet, you will want to ask about this option at the start. In order to help you meet your goal, you may be able to find a therapist who can see you more frequently, say 3-5x a week for a short period of time, or they may be able to offer longer sessions on a weekly, biweekly or monthly basis, depending on your scheduling needs and their availability. Having these flexible options can be a life-saver in certain situations.
Example response:
Yes, in the next couple weeks I will be able to accommodate 2-hour sessions per week to help you make progress more quickly with setting boundaries with your family members.
Red flag:
No major red flags here, other than lacking clarity. The therapist you are interviewing should be able to give you a clear ‘yes’ or ‘no’ and exactly what this option can look like, as well as when they will have availability to fulfill on this promise. A red flag down the road is if you get started with your therapist and they are not honoring the schedule they promised you. Then you would want to try to address this openly and directly with them.
Question option 6: There are some things I’m not ready to talk about yet- will that be a problem?
Sometimes, you may be looking for a therapist with some initial areas that you want to tackle with professional guidance, while there are other topics or life problems that you feel more hesitant to discuss. These may include things like ongoing problems with sexual intimacy, intrusive thoughts that cause you significant distress or regrets related to marriage or having children. You have in mind that you need to explore these topics with someone safe, once you feel more comfortable, but it’s hard for you to tell after a 15 minute phone call if this therapist is going to be the one you choose to tell all this to.
It is perfectly reasonable to want to take some time to get acclimated to a new person in your life, even if they are a professional, before you are ready to dive into the tough stuff. This is true in any human relationship, so it makes sense to give your instincts an opportunity to pick up on the safety signals, or green lights, that let you know that this is your person.
Example response:
That’s not a problem at all, and I want to respect your boundaries as I would want anyone else to. Please just keep me informed about when you are feeling ready to pivot to these harder subjects, and I will check in with you, too.
Red flag:
While not addressing certain concerns could potentially get in the way of some of your goals, that doesn’t mean you can’t still make progress and learn widely applicable skills as you work up your courage. So if a therapist says they can’t work with you at all if you aren’t ready to talk about sensitive topics, or that all your issues hinge on talking about that one thing, they are being heavy handed.
Also, no one can tell you after a quick consultation call exactly where your problems stem from- the human mind and human experience are too complex for that. So if a potential therapist declares that they know exactly what you should be addressing in therapy, and when you should do it, that’s a rd flag that they have a habit of taking their expertise and authority too far.
Question option 7: Do you take my insurance?
You might be wondering why I put this question so far down the list when this is usually one of the very first questions people think to ask. From my experience, many more decisions about therapy hinge on this question than perhaps they should.
Now, if you simply have no room in your budget to consider a private pay therapist, then you will definitely need to pick someone in your insurance network. Most therapist directories offer a way to search by accepted insurances, and I highly advise that you do this if you have no other financial options, because therapy is such a vital service and there is no point in you waiting to access it if you don’t have to.
Targeting your therapist search to your insurance provider will save you lots of time so you are not calling around and interviewing therapists who you could not possibly work with right now anyway. And you don’t want to create unnecessary stress in your search.
If you do have some financial flexibility in your search, you will have some advantages in terms of being able to consider a private pay only therapist who is an exact match to what you are looking for. You will also have greater privacy in terms of the treatment you are receiving since nothing is reported to your insurance company. And there will be no need for you to be given a diagnosis, if that’s not what you are interested in, since that is only a requirement for justifying medical coverage to an insurance company.
As a side note, during your yearly open enrollment season, you’ll want to consider if your current insurance option is working for you, and if you can make some adjustments that will allow you to see the mental health and medical providers of your choosing.
Example response:
Yes, I take insurance so and so, and I report claims biweekly.
OR
I actually only take these insurances, not the one you currently have. But I can give you a superbill that you can submit on your own to request out of network coverage benefits.
Red flag:
If a therapist shames you for wanting to use your insurance, big red flag. Any hint of being shamed in a consultation call does not bode well for the future relationship. So simply thank them for their time and end the call as soon as you can.
Question option 8: Do you offer sliding scale/reduced fee?
Much like the previous question, you may have some reduced options if you are seeking sliding scale. If this is the only way you will be able to afford therapy, I suggest searching in a directory that either lets you search therapists by sliding scale, or that is specifically for sliding scale therapists in general. Open Path is one such directory and it will help you with targeting your search more effectively.
There are many private pay only therapists who keep a certain number of slots dedicated to reduced fee. These slots may be ongoing or only open up once or twice a year, or they may already be filled by other clients in need. It certainly never hurts to inquire, and this information is also likely to be detailed openly in their FAQs or on their Fees page.
The perfect therapist for you is the one you can afford! Sometimes you may be able to request financial support from family or access a therapy scholarship, like the 4-12 session scholarship occasionally offered through The Loveland Foundation. Getting creative can help you get the kind of support you need.
Example response:
Yes, I do offer a sliding scale program that consists of 12 sessions total over 6 months, and my next available opening will be in 45 days. Would you like me to reserve that spot for you?
OR
I don’t offer reduced fee but I can reduce the frequency of our sessions to once or twice a month to make accessing therapy more feasible for you. Would you be interested in that?
Red flag:
Here you just want to make sure that when you sign your therapy intake paperwork and when you receive the invoice for the first session, that the fee matches what was agreed upon when you first discussed this with your therapist. Make sure to address this as quickly as possible to avoid frustration or confusion. More than likely, if the fee doesn’t match, this was a simple error on your therapist’s part and they will fix this quickly. Otherwise, you are dealing with someone who is disorganized and unwilling to admit fault, which makes them an unsafe provider for such a confidential service.
Conclusion:
There you have it! This is a comprehensive list of interview questions you can use to interview your next therapist, though this is by no means the final word. There really are no “wrong“questions to ask in this situation, beyond being careful that you are not crossing someone’s boundaries.
The great thing is, you are speaking to a trained professional. So if for any reason they find your question too personal or uncomfortable, they can simply communicate this to you, honestly and with great kindness.
The most important thing is that you feel empowered in your search to identify the best therapist for you, and not settle for less. Great therapy is a truly transformative experience!
Linda Sanderville, LCSW, RYT-200, is a psychotherapist with over ten years experience in effective trauma treatment and training and supervision of other mental health professionals. Currently, she provides speciality services to adults seeking recovery from stressful life events and those who desire to optimize their wellness and the health of their relationships.